Well. on the release day of V4, let's take a time to remember. (play
for effect)
And now dear reader... i want to take you to a different time. In the days before Sim Monsters... well it was the time of legends. when dionosaurs that weren't jurrassic attack roamed the maps of ROR, When a yellow and red filltool over a 80 face body that LF made one night four years ago was concidered Carolina crusher. When Grave digger 20 was on a patrick... racesource... thing...
days when flexbodies actually worked, days when a few concrete slabs could be concidered Atlanta 2009. Days when legends crawled through the mire of Rigs of Rods.
these were the days of myth. the days of stories, huddled around a really crap fire particle effect that sapped your FPS to the single digits.
These were the halcyon days. These were the terrifying, amazing, tranquil and fresh days... of Rigs of Rods Monster jam...
Now, dear reader, this may terrify you. We were all abhorrently frozen in terror in those hardscrabble days before anyone knew what blender was. Terrifying things happened. Horrifying things that shake the very base, concrete and solidifed grounding foundations of what we now accept as normal. Horrible monstrosities grinned terrifying and molevolant grins in the brazen glory of the light of day. Avenger, with no see through windshield, so you couldn't see out across the glorious concrete landscapes beset forth by Mike Elmondorf. Insane things, like Ash and RKM being on a... TEAM. A TEAM i tell you.
Team NO FEAR. it was a terrible thing that simply was never meant to be. (and as we all know, in the great legends of creation, a bolt of lighting struck Team NO FEAR on the seventh day of the seventh month, causing it to split into it's good half and it's evil half. But more on that later. this is not the time for such childish stories of yore.)
Other ugly beasts reared their head in these times as well, dear friend. Sketchup was the gateway to the modern wonders, but there were many atrocities to be had along the way. Massive conglomorate tracks with no rhyme or reason, paired to trucks that handled like cardboard. Terrifying, unsettling erethreal creations that still haunt the unwary server at 3AM, along with BusDriverPete, always asking for signals, and priority call 175, Alone, howling madened signals into the growling dark mists of servers, if someone, ANYONE could just answer him, the world would be right for him. But no, BusDriverPete is doomed to walk the hollow halls of ROR forever, his empty soul gouging a hallow and heavy dragging pain into his heart. If only they'd responded to 175... 175.
but no. I'll spare you the horrors.
For one fine day on Te-Gaming, a brazen and fresh faced hero rose from the strife, from the confusion, and from the terror that was RORMJ.
And this young hero, was named Cortez Snipes.
This fine example of humanity boldly struck forward, and spearheaded fantastic and amazing skins. Skins of every colour of the rainbow...
and for the very glory of those hardscrabble days, i bring forth an offering. A sentimental farewell to the histories of Rigs of Rods...
i bring you a glimpse... a charriot of fire, bringing forth unwordly bounty.
This is the eternal work, of Cortez Snipes.
So let us remember those great, legendary painters of years past. Celebrate the heroes of MS paint. Adorn the walls of our maps with portraits of the times of old
and prey that it gets better. because that was kind of depressing